Woke up with a bump..
Everytime i really think about being a mom it always seems to be over shadowed by the state of this Earth.. how the fact that becoming pregnant is just me being selfish, how wanting the ideal family is just me contributing to an already over population, how the state of our world is NOT getting better and our dwindling resources are making for a growing problem that our generation isnt solving but making worse at an alarming rate..Im sorry but couples that have 18+ kids is disgusting and yes, BEING SELFISH..what if we ALL had that many kids?!?! i mean id love to have a big family but im not going to because our planet bursting at the fucking seams!! People in China eating cardboard cuz there isnt enough food to feed them all…and here i am with another one in the oven. As i layed in bed this morning i was making a list in my head of what i can do better for my child. Suddenly after 23 years of not caring i want to change the world…
and if that doesnt keep me up at night!
I sit there and daydream of all the things ill do for them but after 5 min of me being the “perfect mom” with all the answer that all the other moms dont seem to have like keeping them in check at the store, little angels in the cart I suddenly get a quick reality check of i COULD be the worst mom in the world. what makes me think im going to be good at this? The only thing im really counting on is the fact i had great parents..perfect in my eyes..but does that mean i am going to be? but i guess with that reasoning every child with shitty parents will be shitty themselves and i firmly believe in change in human nature.
i know all moms-to-be worry about that and all i can do is my best..